Moving

Prayers have been answered! Our Atlanta house has been rented. Just a few days after I e-mailed our blog advertisement around, a family from out of state came to Georgia to look at it and wrote a check for a deposit on the spot. They will move in the day after our current tenants move out. This is such a huge, huge blessing. I'm so pleased that they can love on and enjoy our house and the furniture in it. The dad will be the assistant athletic director at Georgia State (Nathan's alma mater), and the son will be in the same class as my first group of students at Whitefield. I hope he feels cool living in Mrs. Parker's house.

Speaking of moving... Sadly, we'll only be calling The North Barn home for a few more weeks. We've absolutely loved living here. With a house full of character, fabulous neighbors, a great landlord, a central location, gorgeous surroundings, and a historic house and gardens next door, it was ideal... except for the price. It wasn't so much the rent (which was "much" in itself) but the cost of utilities that was making our heads spin. The high ceiling with its 13th century beams was nice to look at, but it wasn't insulated well, which made staying warm very difficult. Some nights during the winter Nathan and I could see our breath when we got into bed. Keeping the heat on all the time was very, very expensive, and we knew after the first few bills that we were going to have to look for something else.

We were extremely stressed for a while there. The money we had saved for our three years here was depleting rapidly because of our international student fees and the very high cost of living. The dollar is not as strong as the pound, so seeing our reserves disappear 1.67 times faster than we anticipated was extra painful. In our first 10 months, we blew through two thirds of our savings. We wondered how were were going to be able to stay for two more years, especially with me not having steady work.

Enter God's provision...

I got a job (an amazing story in itself) that starts this fall, and then our friends the Griffiths put us in contact with some of their friends coming over to Durham to study. Any friends of Carter and Liz's were sure to be friends of ours! We "met" Cullen and Pamela McKenney over Skype back in April, and it turns out that we have all kinds of crazy connections. Pamela had questions about looking for teaching jobs, and hopefully I steered her away from making a lot of the same mistakes I did. 

Anyway, I'm not sure how, but we soon were talking about the prospect of sharing a house. Several other couples we know (some in Atlanta and some here in Durham) have done it and it seemed attractive for several reasons: 1) It would save both couples a grip of money, and 2) It would force us to be an intentional Christian community. We decided to pray and see if this was something God had for us.

Very shortly thereafter, I heard about a house that another PhD couple was moving out of at the end of the summer, and it sounded like the perfect set up: a tall, skinny townhouse with three floors. Each couple could have its own bedroom, bathroom, and living space. We'd share the kitchen, dining room, and another living area. It's very near other church family and it's a two minute walk from the big Tesco. It's about a 25 minute walk to town and 15 minutes to church. 

After several more months of conversation via Skype, e-mail, and Facebook, we decided to go for it. With my new job and the money we'll be saving living in the house with Cullen and Pamela, we will be able to recover our losses from this year of waiting. 

But wait! The North Barn came completely furnished, and the new house isn't. Furnishing a three story, five bedroom house ain't no joke. God has provided for us hugely again! I contacted all of the PhD families we know who are moving away from Durham this summer, and many of them either gave us stuff or sold it to us for cheap. We've got beds, couches, wardrobes, a dining room table and chairs, bookshelves, desks, kitchen things, etc. for a fraction of the price it would cost to buy at Ikea or Tesco. Thank you, Lord! 

Last week we put Jake and Eddie to good use and made them work for their dinner by helping us move about six car loads of furniture.Very unlike when we first set up shop, The North Barn is looking more like a charity shop, and it's a bit chaotic. I have to keep reminding myself that it's only temporary.

Nathan's seat is really far forward, don't you think?

Nathan's study is next to the furniture jigsaw puzzle upstairs. I'm afraid it might just topple over at some point.

Bookshelves and a mattress line the stairs.

Upstairs. Yikes.

Those would be mattresses and box springs on top of our wardrobe, The Princess and the Pea style.

Now, I'm sure you'd like to meet Cullen and Pamela, wouldn't you? Let me see if I can find a picture...

Well, here is a nice looking couple. This picture should go in a magazine. Oh, wait! That's THEM!

You'll be seeing lots of the McKenneys on the blog in the future. They arrive on August 11th, and they'll be staying with Sam and Emily, our first English friends, until we move into the house together on September 1st. 

We'll miss The North Barn, but we are so grateful for our time here. We've been able to make great friends, live close to town and especially to church, host lots of people, etc. Thankfully, Cullen and Pamela's lifestyle is similar to ours, so I'm sure the house will be full of people quite a lot. We're looking forward to starting this new chapter with them in just a few weeks!

Identity Theft II

Here is a more cheerful followup for The Graduate Wife article I wrote a few months ago titled "Identity Theft." You can read the first one here. And this post is where I thanked everyone for being nice to me.

The Graduate Wife was founded and is run by Christians, but the blog is for women of all faiths and none. Mandy and M.C. loved my followup post, but they also wanted it to be a little more palatable for their varied audience. However, I just didn't know how to tone the Jesus down (read on and you'll see why), so I decided to post here instead. 

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Source

True friends help you move. Forever friends fly across the country to help you prepare for an international move. One of my forever friends, Allison, came from Phoenix to Atlanta to rescue me from general overwhelmed-ness (to make up a word), which for me meant staring into space and mentally packing the house but not actually lifting a finger. One night, while organizing piles of left over yard sale stuff to take to Goodwill, she asked me, “What is a lie you have believed about God?”

I had an answer pretty much straight away. “I used to think that He’d deny me the desires of my heart so that I could prove that I rely on Him alone. I thought I’d never get married because it was my number one wish, even above that of knowing God, which I knew was sinful. I thought that God would ask me to sacrifice having a husband for Him… But God’s not like that,” I smiled, thinking of my wonderful, handsome, soon-to-be PhD candidate groom.

Over the next few days, I realized that I still believed that lie, the lie that God needed me to prove that I loved and trusted Him by giving things up or accepting difficult circumstances.

Our oven broke two weeks before our move to England. “God is testing me…” I whispered.

A rock cracked the windshield on my car one day before I was to sell it. “God is testing me,” I cried.

I couldn’t find our wedding album to put in my carry-on for the plane. “God is testing me!” I yelled.

I packed my medical supplies so that they were evenly distributed among our four suitcases, just in case God decided to test me again by losing a piece of luggage when we arrived in our new country. Surely, He wouldn’t be so cruel as to misplace it all. I would definitely fail that test.

What was this testing mindset all about? It was about me proving that I could trust Him. Well, that’s a load of bunk if I’ve ever heard any. Is God’s love for me dependent on whether I pass a series of tests? Is He taking time out of ruling over the universe to throw roadblocks in my way, trying to trip me up? Even if He were, would I pass them all? Of course not! If only one of our four pieces of luggage holding all of our worldly goods were lost, I’d be an absolute basket case! And would God love me any less? No! His love for me is not dependent on my love for Him.

I thought I learned that this past summer, but it turns out I have to re-learn the lesson a lot: I am loved by God no matter what! Roadblocks, tests, fallen pillars that hold up my identity - whatever you want to call them - are NOT opportunities for me to prove that I have the faith to trust Him. They are opportunities for God to show Himself mighty in a crappy situation. Suffering – whether on a small scale (broken oven, cracked windshield, lost photo album) or a big one (strained relationships, health problems, financial stress) – is never, ever, ever wasted. God is revealing more of Himself to me through trials, not the other way around.

That is the truth.

Now, let’s get practical. When I’m tempted to think otherwise, this is what I try to do.

1)      I calm my anxious heart by being still and worshipping God. Kari Jobe’s “You are For Me,” Brooke Fraser’s “Shadowfeet,” and Chris Rice’s “Untitled Hymn” do it for me every time. Three songs, ten minutes, and I feel tons better.

2)      I think about the future with God in the picture. When He’s not playing an active part in my fantasies about the unknown, I worry.

3)      I get some saltwater therapy, whether it be through sweat (exercise), tears (a good cry), or the sea (we’re blessed to be close to the water).

4)      I have people over. Isolating myself does me no good, and knowing that someone is coming to my home motivates me to do a little cleaning and take a shower, which is harder than it sounds when I’m really down.

Do you have any ideas on how to remind yourself of God’s love?

Missing My Girls

My sweet nieces are getting so big, and I haven't even met Winnie yet. Tear! Christmas can't come fast enough.

Behind the Scenes

Some of you know what's coming up for the Parkers in the next few months, but I don't want to make it public on the blog until it's official. Hopefully I can share in detail with pictures and such within a week or so. It has to do with real estate, if you care for a subject line (read: nothing to do with babies).

In other news, the British public schools are finishing up this week, which means there is good news and bad news:

The good news is that I don't have to do supply teaching anymore! Even though it was horrible at times, it was the way God provided for our family. I didn't get called as much as I thought I would - only once or twice a week at most - but at least we were able to prevent financial hemorrhaging for the last five months. While I didn't like working so little, it also allowed lots of time for me to stay at home and show hospitality to our wave of guests recently, which is a huge blessing.

The bad news is that I don't have a way to earn any money for six more weeks until I start my new job. I am back online with the temp agency that got me the work at Josephine Butler College, but things are very slow at the University because they are between terms. Is there anything I can do for anyone in/around Durham? Organize your closets? Help you clean? Babysit? Cook? I've also been dressing up the blog a little bit more in hopes of someday figuring out how to make money off of it without bombarding people with randomly generated ads. Any insight or wisdom you might have about this would be helpful.

There may be a way for me to start at the Durham School on August 1st instead of September 1st, but I have to wait until the end of the month to find out if that will work. Will you pray that this happens? Not only will it be a huge financial help, but I think it would be really good to get a jump start on navigating the job before the international students arrive on September 3rd.

Meanwhile, I am in serious need of prayer for discipline in all things: eating, exercising, time management, spiritual disciplines, etc. When I was crazy busy with work and moving and homemaking and hosting wife-ing and all of what made up my life at its busiest times, I thought to myself, "If only I didn't have to work! I'd cook stellar meals, keep a spotless house, study my Bible, journal, read for pleasure, exercise, stay in better touch with my friends and family, and blah, blah, blah EVERY DAY!" Well, that's just not true.

Instead of wallowing in and wailing about how not perfect I am (shocker), I need to just put one foot in front of the other (repentance and faith, repentance and faith, repentance and faith) and keep doing the next thing with complete dependence on Jesus. That way all the glory goes to God.

Here's one of the very, very few books that came with me to England. If you don't have one already, get one. Never mind the 70's cover. It's so good! So, so good!

Do it!

Jake and Eddie's Visit

Jake and Eddie are fellow Bakersfieldians, and Nathan and I were happy to host them on their way home from Romania. Jake (on the left) was there for two months and Eddie for two weeks. Nathan tried out his tour guiding skills on them, and they listened and asked questions for almost two and a half hours! The fun continued as they peppered Nathan with questions about schooling, the Christian life, the Bible, etc. for their five days here. At night, we watched sermons online as well as funny videos on YouTube. I mostly cooked food and listened. I learned a lot as well!

Here we are in the cloisters at the cathedral. It's hard to see, but the picture below was right behind them.

Some Harry Potter jazz was filmed here, so their eyes were like saucers when we were walking through the cathedral grounds. We tried to see the HP7.2 while they were here, but it was all sold out. Boo.

Jake spotted this bee hive on our driveway. It was twice the size of my head.

Nathan and the boys went to Finchdale Priory while I did some more supply work last week.

I would be remiss if I didn't pass along Nathan's new favorite YouTube video, shared by Jake and Eddie. I can't get this blasted song out of my head now because if I'm not thinking about the video, Nathan is humming it and laughing to himself all day long.

Thanks for all the fun times and for always doing the dishes, guys. You were a joy to host, and you're welcome back any time!

Referring You Elsewhere

It's been busy here lately. We have some more visitors, boys this time, who have been staying with us since Tuesday. Jake and Eddie have been fantastic, easygoing house guests. They're very heavy sleepers despite being right in the middle of the barn. The last two mornings I've gotten myself ready and left the house at 7:30 to do more supply teaching, and they didn't even stir once. They're out with Nathan now getting fish and chips and climbing to the top of the cathedral for a nice view of the city.

I'm tired after a couple more experiences in South Shields and don't feel like faffing about with loading pictures, so for today's bloggy enjoyment, you get to go to Amy's brand new blog to hear the play-by-play about their visit here.

Hopefully I'll have some more interesting things to post next week. Until then, here are some pictures I've been digging on Pinterest.

I told my sister that this was her, June, and Nick. She said, "If that was us, June's chin would be above the bar."

This is a Language Arts poster for you.

This just looks nice.

The boys and I watched Inception the other night, and I forgot how beautiful Marion Cotillard is!

Happy weekend, everyone!

The Middle

I already told you about the beginning and the end. Here are the pictures from the middle of the girls' visit. 

Lindisfarne Castle, Holy Island

Nathan planking again. 

And again. While Amy was attempting these shots, a couple walked by and the woman said, "Smile for the camera!" followed by the man who said, "It's his best side!"

Gorgeous view

The North Sea

Girl picture

Low tide

Nathan and the great wall

Check your tide tables before you go!

Here we are enjoying England.

Back in Durham, Amy took this picture from the Kingsgate Bridge.

The East side of the cathedral

Celebrating our not going to Ireland at the Black Bull.

Amy took this because she was really weirded out that the steering wheel was on the wrong side of the car.

4th of July with Frank! Side note: I just spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to find the link to the first post about Frank, and I can't find it. I know it's there somewhere!

*UPDATE* Found it! 

Here are the girls and I on the city walls of York.

This is us self-soothing with McDonald's french fries after the Ireland disaster at the ginormous mall known as the Metrocentre. There are actually five malls in one. That's the map I'm holding up. You can see the red mall, blue mall, green mall, yellow mall, and central mall.

This is us saying goodbye at the airport. No fun.

I'm glad you're home safely girls!