"F" is for Total Depravity

I had the worst day of school ever today. I wouldn't want to say that it was the worst day of my life, but it is right on up there with the worst day of my school life. 


I did supply teaching at a school that shall remain nameless (I was really tempted to hyperlink "a school that shall remain nameless," but I'm showing what little restraint I have left), and I thought it was going to be an okay day. The school looked brand new, and it was really clean.


Period 1 went well. It was crowded, and they were chatty, but no major issues.


Period 2 - I think I was traumatized. Really. I am still reeling. 


Students not staying seated. Students eating, drinking, chewing gum, listening to iPods, texting, playing games, taking pictures, playing music on their iPhones. Students screaming for no reason. Students gambling. Students pretending to be high. Students pretending to perform acts that only married people should be doing. Students openly using awful language. Students openly mocking me. Students defying my instructions. Students stealing other students' belongings and throwing them on top of the cabinets. Students climbing on chairs, desks, and cabinets. Students jumping off of cabinets. Students throwing book bags, pencils, paper Chinese stars full of staples, and other such home made hazardous objects. Students verbally abusing other students. Students threatening other students. Students physically assaulting other students. Students accusing me of serious atrocities. 


And they were all in 7th grade. 


I was quite stunned by all of this but drew the line after about 40 minutes when one student got in the face of another and threatened him. I took him firmly by the arm and escorted him outside to find another teacher. He was screaming that I was hurting him and abusing him. 


When the teacher came into the classroom to try to settle the class down, the student went ahead and followed through on his original threat to harm the other student and punched him in the face, and yet more students jumped in on both sides of the fight. I asked the teacher what I could do to help, and he told me to get yet another teacher. All told, there were four teachers, including me, that had to be brought in to contain the class. 


During the aftermath, the "victim" of my "abuse" brought up some very, very serious allegations against me that are not suitable for discussion on this blog (which weren't taken seriously, thank goodness).


All this before 10 a.m.


I had two more classes which were just as awful as most of the other schools I've been to but seemed angelic compared to Period 2. At lunch I met Nathan in the parking lot so we could share a meal together, and I just sat in the car and stayed very still. I didn't say much. I ate half of a PB&J and just stared into space. I couldn't talk about my morning, because I knew if I did, I would most certainly lose my composure and wouldn't go back in for the afternoon. I needed to stay focused. 


Two more classes in the afternoon were dreadful, but no one was punched in the face and no one cussed me out, so I'll go ahead and put a "W" in the afternoon column.


I felt like I had been through battle - or had at least watched Casino back to back to back for 7 hours. I had a headache. My jaw was tight. My muscles hurt. Images and sounds from the day kept flashing through my mind. 


Needless to say, Nathan and I both cried some tears on the way home. 


Ahem... *tap tap tap* Is this thing on?


*Allow me to get on my soapbox for a second and talk about discipline in schools.


There are so many factors that contribute to a "good" school in terms of behavior: the socioeconomic background of the school population, parental backing of educational ideals, administrative support of teachers, teacher buy in to school discipline policy, whether or not students wear uniforms, cleanliness of the grounds, structure of the family, rate of presence of drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, etc. 


However, if I could sum up England's problem with school discipline, it's this: children have all the power.


Teachers are not allowed to touch students at all. Teachers are not allowed to isolate troublemakers. Schools actually get fiscally penalized if they suspend or expel too many students. There are no "second chance" schools to expel kids to. Some schools actually have a "no negativity" policy, whereby teachers cannot use words like "don't," "stop," etc. I guess today's incident (when Student A hit Student B) should have warranted a, "I'm so pleased with how Student X is not punching Student Y in the face." That would probably have done the trick. Not.


So when a student is walking across the classroom on top of desks instead of carpet, and the teacher says "Please get down off of the desks," and the student says, "NO! I WON'T!," all the teacher can do is repeat himself, plead with the child, etc. He can't actually DO anything about it, and they all know it. I saw this happen today.


Adults should not have to put up with abuse by a child. I am completely for protecting children, and that includes disciplining them to protect them from mismanaging themselves. Children's rights in this country go a bit too far, in my opinion. They're children, for crying out loud, and they need guidance, not autonomy. Discipline is LOVE and DIGNITY. 


I found a really interesting article, although it's a bit out of date, that explained some proposed changes in the English education system. I have no idea whether or not these proposals were actually implemented, but they sounded darn good to me.


And this was a statement left in the comments section: "As long as the word of an habitual troublemaker or congenital liar is deemed by the proponents of children’s rights to be as reliable as that of an experienced and well-respected teacher then discipline will never be established in schools." 

None of the students actually learned anything today. Most didn't even bother to write their names on their coloring worksheets. 

But I learned a whole lot. 

*Climbing down off of soapbox.

While all of this was happening, Nathan was wrestling with some of Flavel's ideas about total depravity. As I was estimating how many times I hear the f-word today, he said, "It's interesting. All day I was reading about the wickedness of the human heart while you were seeing it fleshed out." 

So true. In these students as well as in my own heart. 

I have so much more to say on the subject. And I don't mean just retelling horror stories. I mean deep discussions about the hopelessness I feel when I think about school and the presence of spiritual darkness in this country and the need for Christ and dependence on the Gospel at every moment. 

But I'm all out of heart for it at the moment.

Any thoughts you have would be warmly welcomed.