Thanks Ma

Super long overdue. Sorry, Mumers...

Look who *loves* the box with the Sesame Street stickers! Thanks for all the treats...

It was such a special treat to get the BC gear and some of my favorite movies on VHS. We popped in Gladiator pretty much straight away, and since then I've been keen on freaking Nathan out with my reenactment of the creepy "busy little bee" speech that Juaquin Phoenix makes. He likes to freak me out by responding with "AM I NOT MERCIFUL?!?!?!"

I'm waiting for a special rainy day to watch Anne of Green Gables. I've tried to stick to the "bake cookies only when entertaining company" rule, but I just might have to break it for that movie. Actually, I can invite people over to watch it, can't I? And then I wouldn't be breaking the rule! Who's in?

And happy, happy birthday to my brother, Matthew, who turns 27 today!

I think he was his handsomest in this picture. I've had this picture in my classroom since I started teaching, and all the middle school girls for the past seven years have thought he was hot. That sounds kind of weird now that he's 27. :)

I love this picture for so many reasons. I'm  not sure what my sister is dressed up as. Is she a pirate? a gypsy? a gang banger? a gondola driver? a waitress at an Italian restaurant? Matthew is clearly Mickey Mouse, and he was making a sign that he saw Kristen do when she played a mouse in the play Cinderella whilst polishing off an apple. The only thing interesting about my costume is that the washable Crayola markers that my dad used to "paint" my face turned out not to be so washable. That made for an interesting school experience the following day.

In other news... I subbed at a middle school today, and it was much better than my previous experiences. I'd say it was 80% positive. The most blogworthy thing I noticed was a kid picking his nose and eating his findings. While at the school, I got work for tomorrow at another school as well as a full week's booking at yet another school for next week. We praise God for his provision!

Please keep praying that I can find full time work. You've probably gathered that I really don't like subbing. The best part about it is creating stories in my mind to tell you later. I've lost count of how many jobs I've applied for, and aside from the stress of all that goes with being a substitute teacher, it's quite stressful not knowing if/when I'm working day by day. Nathan had to remind me yet again today that the Lord is for us and has brought us this time of trusting in him for our needs to make us more like Jesus.

Thanks friends...

Long Walks on the Beach

Last night I was working on a nice post about our friends' visit, but I ran out of storage space and had to buy more from Google. It may have had something to do with the picture frenzy for my sister's birthday post. I guess 422 posts is about 1 GB of space on the blog world, and that's all you get for free. I bought 20 GB for $5, but I know I won't come close to using it all in the next year. Anyway, it can take up to 24 hours for the new storage space to be allocated to me, but luckily I had this post I had already made waiting in the wings...

A few weeks ago, our Bible study group leaders, Sam and Jen, invited us to Sunday lunch with a new friend of theirs, fellow California girl Kristine. We had a traditional English meal (lamb, roasted parsnips, etc.) and then drove to the coast, only about a 10 minute drive away.

The beach had large rocks and bricks shaped like rocks, left over from the coal mining days. I thought about bundling up a bunch of rocks and selling them to home decorating stores. They were the smooth ones that you put in bowls and stuff. There's lots of money to be made in rocks, apparently!

Sam and Nathan talked with a local fisherman who looked like he dressed to wade in to get his fish. The huge pole was doing the catching.

I asked Nathan to take a picture of us girls, and he took one with Sam in it too. I don't think Sam knew he was in the picture at the time.

The ladies. I love how Kristine is bundled up even more than I am. We talked about all things OC (The Spectrum? Orange Coast Plaza? Hair extensions?), as she went to UC Irvine. Good times...

Happy 2nd Birthday June Bug

For Junie's second birthday on March 26th, she had two parties. It was only fitting.

 Cookie Monster party!

She even had blue nails. How awesome!

Dora party the next day...

Sorry. I just couldn't get enough of Winnie's cuteness in that hat.

Happy belated birthday sweet girl! You are so loved!

Happy Birthday to My Sister

On this day 28 years ago, you were in Mumers's tummy.

And then you came home! I think it's so sweet that June and Winnie are exactly the ages we were in this picture.

Robin and Deanie, hanging out on Halloween!

This picture has been on the family fridge for 27 years, and for good reason. I think it aptly displays our personalities.

First day of school

Twin overalls and Farrah Fawcett bangs

Playing with dolls

Learning about our heritage

Burying you in the sand

Morro Bay with the fam

Why did you always pretend that I was choking you in pictures?

 Maybe it was because I was...

Laura and Mary Ingalls? Nope! The Sampley sisters.

Bebe Saboo Sampley, R.I.P.

Off to Stockdale High

 Family Christmas pics... Remember the pole picture?

Love you Kristen/Sistor/Twine/Josie!

Winner Winner Peanut Brittle Dinner

Ben, Blaire, Nathan, and I were sitting at breakfast this morning looking at the list of contest commenter entries. Nathan came up with an invention to pick our winner. We each picked number, and then Nathan did some fancy math (take Nathan's number, subtract Nicole's number, add Blaire's number, and add Ben's number) and discovered that Brandee is our winner!


Brandee, will you FB message me your address so I can have the chocolate dipped peanut brittle sent to you?


Congrats on multiple levels! I'm sure that you and baby #5 will enjoy this tasty treat. :)

I may be away from blogging for a few days while our friends are here, but you can be sure I'll be documenting our adventures and sharing them with you soon!

Saturday's Soccer

On Saturday we took our first drive somewhere in our new (to us) car. I must first make a correction and say that it is grey, not tan, like I thought it was. Sorry. Second, I talked to Nathan about the possibility of naming it, and the first thing that tumbled out of his mouth was, "HARRIET!"

Harriet it is, I guess.

Friends, meet Harriet.

*Harriet waving*

We drove to a nearby town and met up with some guys from church to play soccer. In other words, we went to a nearby village and met up with some lads from church to play football. It was really fun to hear them all talking to one another on the field. "Hey-o lads!" and "Well played!" and "Unlucky!" were some of my favorite phrases.


We girls hung out by the goal posts for a while, cheering for/against Hamish, the giant Scotsman goalkeeper who comes from very athletic stock. "My Highland granny used to climb hills with a sheep under each arm," he said.

Ashley and me had to squint hard, it was so sunny. It was a terrible problem to have so much sun. Apparently the moody English weather thought so too and the sun went away again after a while, leaving us to be blown away by ferocious winds and biting cold. We took laps around the field to keep warm.

Emmy, Ashley, and I cheered our husbands on. I cheered for the red shirts (because Nathan was playing on that team) and the other girls cheered for the white shirts (because their husbands, both named Adam, were playing on that team). Red shirts won (woo hoo!) 2-1 and Ashley's Adam came away with a gruesome injury. Good thing she's a nurse.


Afterwards, we went to McDonald's. Because we could. Because we have a car!!! Thanks, Harriet!


Leave a comment and get entered into the contest to win some killer chocolate covered peanut brittle. You know you want some. You have until tomorrow, so why not do it now? The winner will be announced on Thursday.

Restored Faith in the USPS and Royal Mail

I would like to take this time to thank the United States Postal Service and the Royal Mail for delivering the cutest birth announcement I have ever seen...

even though my post-preg-o sister forgot to put a stamp on it.

It was quite redemptive of them, seeing as how I rant and rave about the inefficiency and heartlessness of most government organizations. I take it all back... for about five seconds.

Leave a comment and get yo'self some chocolate dipped peanut brittle. Yum!

Peanut Brittle to Die For, But I'll Save You

My mom's BFF (and yes, they call each other that instead of their real names, like, "Hey BFF!") slash my super amazing wedding planner slash our family Christmas card photographer slash decorating diva Kim sent us a sweet package a few weeks ago full of VHS tapes and her famous peanut brittle. She started a new business selling this stuff, and I couldn't get enough of it.

Most of the Brits I know don't really care for peanut butter. They don't like the stickiness on the roof of the mouth thing. But the ones I gave a chintzy little piece to (because I am a hog and don't like to share) loved it! They loved that it was so light and chewy and just the right balance of salty and sweet, not break-your-teeth-off hard and I-can-feel-cavities-forming-even-now sugary. And to dip and drizzle it with chocolate? HEAVEN!

I meant to write this post long, long ago, but I always forgot to ask my mom to ask Kim - sorry... BFF - to give me more information about how to get some more. And I meant to take pictures of it, but we ate it all before that happened. And then I thought, I'll take my own advice I gave to my doctor here and just Google it. So I did. And I answered my own questions and I got another picture from her new website. 

Sweet!

Because I'm your friend and you're my readers, I will send you some as a gift if you just leave a comment on any post sometime between now and Wednesday. I picked Wednesday because our friends Ben and Blaire are coming to visit, and I've been thinking about Wednesday and looking forward to it for about three months now.

Now, CONNIE AND NANCY, this is how you leave a comment:

1) Click at the bottom of whatever post you want to comment on, where it likely says "0 Comments," or more hopefully "24 comments."

2) Type your comment in the box that says "Leave your comment."  If you're not signing in with an identity (if you don't know what that means, you don't have one), be sure to type your name at the bottom, much like you would a letter.  If you don't type your name, I won't know who you are.

3) If you don't already have a blog or are not logged in, under "Choose and identity," click the anonymous button.

4) Click "Publish your comment."

5) It might ask you to type in some numbers or letters that you'll see in a text box. They just put that there so computers don't spam your comments section. Re-type what you see and click "Publish your comment," or something to that effect, again.

You did it!

If you just can't wait and need to order some now, go to Kim's website for more information or you can e-mail BFF at crackedanddipped@gmail.com. 

Good luck readers!

Car and Subbing

This was supposed to be posted last night, but our internet went on quite a long tea break. Sorry!

____________________________________________________

More info on the car... it's a tan Nissan Primera, which I've never seen in the States. I'm not sure what year it is, but I think it's a '96. Pictures will follow. I haven't taken any yet. I think we need some sun first. It's just so sad and pathetic looking out there in the fog, and it doesn't even have a name yet. Besides, Nathan and I haven't gone anywhere together in it besides crazy. 


Our American friends the Matt and Brandy gave it to us. Matt is in the same department as Nathan working on his PhD in theology. They needed to upsize (to make up a word) and get a van because they are expecting their third baby this Spring and couldn't fit three car seats in the car. It was gifted to them by some previous American PhD students, and so they gifted it to us. We plan on gifting it to someone else when our time is up here as well.


It was so, so generous of them to think of us, and we couldn't be more grateful. It will really improve our quality of life here and help us with the occasional claustrophobia we feel when we don't get out of walking distance to our house for weeks on end, except for my solo trips to schools to do some subbing. I mean, we haven't even seen the beach closest to us, which is only 20 minutes away in the car. 

Thank you so much Matt, Brandy, Violet, Camille, and baby boy!

To abruptly change the subject, today's sub job was so much better than Tuesday's, probably because all I had to do was take attendance and pop in a movie for the three classes I watched. Actually, the homeroom class I had first for about 15 minutes was the same one I sang the national anthem for earlier this week. They asked for a repeat today, which I obliged... anything to keep them occupied and not destroying people or property. 


Afterwards, they asked for another one. Seeing as how it's St. Patrick's Day, I told them I would sing a little Irish hymn. One boy asked if he could dance while I sang, which I allowed. He started off all Michael Flatley like, but I was only four lines into Be Thou My Vision when the Michael Jackson-like pelvic thrusting started, so he was promptly fired.


The first movie I showed was Zulu, a 1964 historical film about the Anglo-Zulu war of 1879 starring Michael Caine, and the first 20 minutes or so was just a scene of African Zulu warriors and villagers dancing for a visiting Swedish missionary and his daughter. Did I mention that the Zulu females were topless? Did I mention that I had to show this to 8th graders? Yeah. 


Then, for a film studies class, I showed a documentary about how movies have changed since the 50s. It was really interesting aside from all of the foul language, nudity, violence, and substance abuse. I never knew Dennis Hopper was flying high the whole time he was filming every movie he ever did in the 60s and 70s. All I knew about him before today was that he was really mean in Speed. 


"Pop quiz hotshots!"





"What do you do?!"


Anyway, I was really shocked to see some of the movies on the shelf behind the teacher's desk for use during "film studies." Among the titles were: Se7en, 40 Year-Old Virgin, Platoon, Casino, Sex Drive, Snakes on a Plane, and others. The only "classics" I saw were the Lord of the Rings trilogy and... actually, I can't think of another. 


Pop quiz hotshots. What would you do?

Good News and Bad News

Good news:


We got a CAR!!!


FOR FREE!!!!!


PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!


Bad news:


I practiced driving it after Bible study tonight and may or may not have had a "level 10," "super mega," "this is the last helicopter out of Vietnam" panic attack, to quote Nathan.


More on all of this tomorrow.


I have another day of subbing at the school I was at yesterday. Let the mental filming begin!


Needless to say, I'll be taking the bus.

The Home of the Brave

Today I subbed at a school that took me an hour and two buses to get to. I earned every stinking penny of my pay. Maybe I'm just completely romanticizing the brilliance of students past, but today I continued to be completely baffled by how little students know, how little they are able to read and follow directions, how little they think, for cryin' out loud. 


I can't tell you how many times I heard "I can't do this" or "I'm not doing this" today. I'm of the persuasion that all children can learn and do learn (they have the top 40 memorized and can hack into the school's computer systems, can't they?), but not all of them want to learn what we have to teach.


I was also hit with the realization that I completely took my former students' obedience for granted. All I had to do at my last school was give 'em "the big eyes," and I heard "Sorry, ma'am" and they got back to work. "The big eyes," unfortunately, is not an effective form of discipline at the two recent schools I've been to in England. 


Just like last week's students, they talked and talked and talked and talked, they got up and walked around, they switched seats, they threw pens, they swore, they left their work and books behind and just left the classroom trashed, they texted on their phones, they listened to their i-pods, they hit and kicked and snatched each other's possessions and did "Chinese burns" (I think we called them "Indian burns" growing up) on each other. Some didn't attempt to do any work. Like... none. Like... nothing. At all. 


I couldn't decide which fires to put out first. There were so many. I could have spent my whole day putting out fires, but it seemed pretty pointless since it was clear that they couldn't stay quenched for very long. I tried my best, employing every classroom management trick in the book (MBWA [managing by walking around], standing in close proximity to trouble, separating trouble, isolating trouble, making eye contact, using hand signals, having mini conferences, cutting deals, asking them to fake it 'til they make it ["You don't have to read silently, just pretend to read silently"], giving them options including nap-taking, etc.) None of it worked for longer than a few minutes.  I just had to let a lot go today. A lot. A lot a lot. I hated that.


I had my first ever class of behaviorally challenged students. No one told me they were behaviorally challenged. I figured this out all by myself. With most of my classes today pushing 33, I knew this class of 16 was going to try me. And try they did. The whole hour. I could tell you stories about at least 10 of them, right off the top of my head. But you've got lives, so I'll just give you one snapshot.


A12 year-old girl got so angry when I told her to keep working that she banged her head against the metal cupboard next to her chair. 


Then she drew all over her arms and uniform with a blue Sharpie. 


Then she asked if she could put on a talent show in front of the class. 


I know. Random. 


Then she asked if I would sing a song. Since no one was really accomplishing much, I figured, why not? 


Then she screamed, "SHU' UP!!! MISS IS GUN SING FUH US!!!"


Then I sang the first song that came to my head. The Star Spangled Banner. With tickets for the London 2012 Olympics going on sale today, I reminded them that they were going to hear our national anthem a lot next summer. They didn't get the subtle pro-American trash talk. But, while I was singing, it was quiet for the first, last, and only time the whole hour.


Then I yelled "PLAY BALL!" and did a fist pump.


Then the head banging Sharpie artist told me I should go on Britain's Got Talent.


Then I told her that I'm not British.


At the end of the hour I let her sing Don't Stop Believin', and she threatened everyone to listen or else. 


She was terrible, but it was kinda cute.


I'm thinking about re-naming The North Barn and calling it The Home of the Brave. What do you think?


Cheers, and God bless America.

Credit

A Birthday Party for a Stranger

Last week on my way home from town, a very dapper gentleman approached me in front of our driveway. His arms were open wide, one hand holding his cane, and he bellowed, "Well pet, it's a fine, fine day, isn't it?" I agreed and then subsequently found myself in conversation with him for a good long while. Probably 45 minutes. It was mostly me listening to my new friend, Raymond, about subjects ranging from local history to cheesy puns to how the Chinese are taking over the world. He also sang me a few songs before we parted ways. More on this later.

Normally I'm not big on talking to strangers, even friendly, elderly English gentlemen, but 1) I didn't have anywhere to be just then, 2) I wanted to improve on being more flexible and engaging, and 3) I wanted to tell Nathan that I was being friendly with the locals.

During the course of our conversation, I learned that Raymond was having a birthday soon, so I invited him to come over for a little party. We exchanged numbers, but he told me he didn't talk on his mobile on account of his deteriorating hearing. He just texted. He asked me if I knew how to text. When I told him "yes," he seemed relieved. "Oh good! So I don't have to teach you!"

So today Raymond came round for tea, brownies, cookies, raw veggies, and hummus (I can't be eating cookies all the time!), and Nathan even blew up a few balloons that said, "Birthday Boy" on them. Raymond was "chuffed" (really pleased), as they say. During the four hours he was over, we covered quite a range of topics and sang a few more songs. We also took some pictures and a few videos.

Nathan and Raymond sort out the world's problems.

Happy 77th Raymond!

Here we are after finishing his song. I love his smile!

And... here's his song. Nathan's faking like he knows it, but he really doesn't. :)

I Miss Middle Schoolers

Here are two reasons why...


First, I had this short Facebook chat conversation with one of my former students the other night, and I just kept chuckling at his sense of humor. I asked his permission to post this, and he said it was cool. You've gotta love a middle school kid who likes Alice Cooper and poking fun at communists. 

Today

'ello Misses Parke'r, 'ow's England?

Today

fine love. and yourself?

excellent, spring break for Whitefield

fantastic! any big plans?

Arizona

oooh.

nice!

going to Alice Cooper's restaurant

of course you are.

i wouldn't expect anything different.

any other reason you're going to AZ?

he drops by from time to time so maybe he'll be there

i expect the picture of the two of you to be your new profile picture within the week

most definately

and were going to see the grand canyon

i subbed for the first time today since leaving whitefield, and it made me miss you guys

and see a red bulls game

red bulls?

NY red bulls, my favorite soccer team

right on.

or "football" as the brits say

soccer is big in england, but you already knew that

as is cricket, which i don't get

go Birmingham!

really?!

in soccer

not cricket

you are so globally minded

i love that about you

hooray for the intl. news

also go Gloucester rugby!

lol

pronounced gloster

yeah, I know

great spelling by the way

of course you know

i should have known

they were in the first rugby match i ever watched

live?

so they're my favorite

tell me why col. sanders is your profile pic

to answer your first question, i did not see them live, on television and to answer your second question its not col. sanders

what?!

who is it?

look closer at the pic

is it you?

no it says:

i'm getting closer to 30 and i can't see well

KGB, when you're Russian for food, there's no time for Stalin

lol!!!!

And Stalin is meant to look like Col. Sanders

you're hilarious

always more than meets the eye

i like making fun of the communists

lol!

i miss you and your political cartoons

i dont think they were that good,my cartoons, i mean i didnt even come up with this one

oh, come on! the snail one about life insurance that you did in 6th grade is my fav

albeit that's not too political

anyway... it's after midnight here

nathan is already sleeping

i'm probably missing out on some good sleeptalk

oh, whyare you up?

i should get to bed

i was skyping with my family

they're in cali

8 hours behind me

oh, ok

it's hard to connect with them with the time change

so i just stayed up

catch ya later skater

so good to chat with you

see ya

Second, today I subbed for the third time at a Catholic school. I'm not sure what Catholic schools are supposed to be like, but I thought they were a lot more strict, like they are in the movies. This one isn't. It's wild. The students normally wear uniforms (jacket and ties included), but today was a free dress day and it was sleeting and blustery and miserable outside - two tell tale signs that it was going to be a rough day. And it was.
The classroom I was in was hot (someone stole the knobs off of the radiators so they were permanently on high all the time), small, and dirty, and during one period, there were 32 big high school aged kids packed in there. 
There was a fight outside my classroom window when I arrived last Friday, and there was another fight outside my classroom door today between 4th and 5th period. The kid who got hit (16) didn't speak to me or tell me what happened or who hit him. He just teared up, wet his pants, and pulled out his cell phone to call his mom and tell her to come get him. It was weird.
I felt really powerless because I knew no names and there were no other teachers around. I finally found someone, but she was kind of old and looked bewildered that a fight could have happened at all. Then it was like herding cats to get the students to focus for the next two class periods. 
On the whole, they're mostly very apathetic as students, rarely making any effort to do the work laid out before them. They're perpetually tardy. They do not listen while I'm talking. They cheat off of one another during tests while I'm standing right in front of them. In the computer lab, if they can't google the exact answer to a question, they quit working. They have no problems swearing in the classroom (not at me... today) using lots of choice words, most of them starting with the letter "f." 
They chew gum, and when I ask them to spit it out, they look at me blankly and then lie to my face about having any, even though I saw their jaws chomping on it with my own two eyes. Then, if the gum makes it into the trashcan (sometimes they bite it in half and only throw one half in... or claim to swallow it but keep it under their tongues, etc.), they go back to their desks and pop in another piece. 
One kid today kept alternating between passing gas and then spraying Axe under the table, making the classroom reek.
There are far worse jobs than subbing at a rough school in the northeast of England, but today I was hard pressed to think of any.
On my bus ride home, I texted Nathan, "No wonder so many teachers are alcoholics."
I miss my middle schoolers and I miss Whitefield.