10 Surprising Things About Motherhood

Overall, this post could be summed up in this one statement: I'm surprised by what surprises me. 

I can expand if you care to read further.

1. Childbirth was peanuts compared to recovery. I did a LOT of reading to prepare for labor and delivery, but it didn't go anything like we'd planned. I'm not really bothered by that. All's well that ends well. However, I was completely unprepared for the difficulty of recovering from severe pre-eclampsia and a c-section. Ho-ly cow. PUPPPS rashes, major swelling in my legs and feet, the inability to laugh or cough without severe abdominal pain, neck and back aches (I think when you lose tons of weight and start carrying yourself differently your alignment freaks out a little), the difficulty with breastfeeding, the surging hormones... There is more but I don't want to get too graphic. People used to tell me horror stories before I had a baby, and I was not in the least bit interested in hearing them because they made me anxious. My point is that the difficulty of recovery does not discourage me from hoping for more children, but I'm now two months' distance from the experience. The thought of getting pregnant and doing it all over again then made me want to jump off a cliff. 

2. It's still weird for me to think that I am someone's mom. Perhaps it won't really feel real until Mikey says it.

3. Little milestones make me happy while others make me sad. When he laughed for the first time (and only, so far), it made me think of the first time Nathan and I heard Mikey cry in the operating room. We just gasped together with happy surprise! On the flip side, I can now hold Mikey with one arm on my hip without his head wobbling too much. It kind of bums me out that I won't be holding him in my arms like a tiny newborn much longer.

4. I am in love with some of his clothes, namely his polar bear PJs that he is now too big - and too hot - for. My Aunt Deanie was describing her affection for a blue outfit she dressed her daughter, Robin, in when she was a baby. "I just couldn't wait for it to get out of the dryer so I could put it back on her." I felt the same way about those PJs! When my cousin, Misty, gave them to me, I thought about taking them back because I knew he couldn't wear them for long, but I'm so glad I didn't. He wore them almost every night for about two months. I miss them already.

I know I've posted this picture before, but I can't get enough of those PJs!

5. I really like cleaning out his finger and toe jam. I know. So weird. It's the clean freak in me.

6. The best part of my day is after Mikey's bath. Nathan does a really good job of bathing him, and when he's finished I put the baby in his hoodie towel and wrap him up like a burrito. I squeal with delight as I walk him to his room to dry him off, singing a ridiculous song that I make up on the spot (something like, "You're my little chicken brain. I love you! You're my little chicken brain. Yes, it's true!"). Then I put Johnson and Johnson's lavender bedtime lotion on him, put a diaper on, dress him in fresh PJs, and brush his hair. He is warm and happy and smells sooo good! It's so awesome! I want to punch myself with excitement just typing this out!!!

7. When he cries in the car, I want to cry (and I often do). Seriously, it's the saddest thing I could ever listen to. He used to like the motion, and it would often cause him to fall asleep. No longer. Ever since we took a two-day drive from Atlanta to Miami, he's hated his car seat. Part of me thinks that Mikey is certain that he will have to live in his car seat forever which makes him despair. Part of me thinks the problem is that he's too hot, which makes him cry, which makes him sweat, which makes him cry, which makes him sweat, which makes him cry, and on and on and on we go until I pull over at a gas station to get a breeze on his drenched hair and soaked onesie. Poor thing got his sweat glands from his dad.

8. I miss him when he's sleeping. The other night while Mikey was taking his early evening nap, Nathan said, "I miss Mikey. I kind of want to wake him up so we can hang out." "Me too!" I said. So we did. We're the parents, so there.

9. Having a baby makes me miss my own family so much more. I'll stop there so I don't short circuit my laptop with tears.

10. I'm amazed by how true some of the parenting cliches are and how not true others are.

Cliches that are true for me:
a) When it's your own kid, you won't mind the spit up and poop and pee on you.
I was holding him above my head and chatting to him a few weeks ago and he spit up on my face and all over my pajamas. If there is such thing as hazing into the club of motherhood, I think that was it, and I just laughed about it.

I'm not sure how Nathan feels about being spit up on...

b) Everyone thinks their own baby is the cutest.
But seriously, mine is. I hope he doesn't summit the peak of his cuteness mountain too early.

It doesn't get much cuter than this, folks.

c) Motherhood is the best and hardest job in the world.
I think I am a pretty stable person emotionally. I don't get too-too down or too-too excited about much. But I'm learning that life cracks open your heart to both more extreme happiness and hurt the longer you are here. I've never felt so hopeless and helpless since having Mikey. I've also never felt so much joy and sheer pleasure to be alive since having him.

Before I got married, my range of emotions was about this wide:

negative emotions ------- positive emotions

When I got married, my range of emotions expanded to about this wide:

negative emotions ------------------------ positive emotions

When I had a baby, my range of emotions expanded to this wide:

negative emotions -------------------------------------------------- positive emotions

I remember wanting to jump out of my skin I was so excited about Mikey the moment leading up to this picture being taken.

Cliches that are not true for me:
a) You'll love him more than anything in the whole wide world the second he's born. 
That actually took a while for me. I'm sure that being separated from him for his first 10 days of life had a little something to do with it. It's not that I wanted to give him back or anything. It's just that it felt that I was caring for a high maintenance pet for the first eight weeks of his life. I don't think I started to truly become attached until he emerged from what my dad calls "the larvae stage."
b) You'll feel like your heart is walking around outside your chest.
Not really. I don't mind walking around Target for an hour just for the heck of it without him. 
c) You'll hate your new body.
Everything's back to normal except my stomach, but it's not so bad. Nathan tells me it's beautiful, which I appreciate. My hands are always sore though. I thought I'd get some killer arm muscles for sure with all the lifting and holding of the baby and whatnot, but I wasn't counting on my fingers getting a workout every day. I am really pleased that my digestive system has vastly improved since having a baby, and I'm also happy about not having to shave my legs more than once a month because my hair has almost completely stopped growing. See? There are good things about a post-baby body.

Cliches that I think will be true for me:
a) When you go on a date with your spouse, all you'll do is talk about your kid(s).
In fact, Nathan and I have yet to go out on a date (unless going out to buy more diapers while the baby naps at my parents' house counts as a date), but I don't think either of us feels desperate for it. We'd just rather stay home and be together as a family. When Mikey gets older and sleeps longer at night, I'm sure we'll venture out for a romantic evening, and when we do, we'll probably talk about him the whole time and then come home early to wake him up to hang out (see #8).

If you're a parent, what has surprised you about being a mom or dad? If you're not, what surprised you about my surprises? :)

Happy weekend, everybody.