England=Red Tape

I think this was best put by our neighbor, Maggie. "Nothing is ever really straightforward, is it?"


1) Our cell phones don't get good reception at our house.  It costs 3p a minute to call the States, but 25p a minute to call anywhere in the UK.  We have to pay this ridiculous price because we can only "pay as we go" instead of get a contract because we have no credit history here.  


2) We've lost quite a bit of money because they didn't tell us we had to dial "424" before the international code and the number, and they charged us regular international rates for those first few calls to our parents.  Grrr...  


3) Nathan tried to circumvent this by buying and using a calling card, but he didn't know that they charged him 25p a minute to route the call through London before sending it to the States.  We want to buy different phones and service through Tesco, but we have to have a local billing address first.


4) We wrote a substantial check in dollars from our American bank account to deposit into our new British bank account (HSBC) to establish the said billing address.  We were told that it would take 6-8 weeks to clear, during which time Nathan needed to move some money from another American account into the one from which we wrote the big check to cover the cost.


5) The check cleared a day before the money made it into that particular account (much, MUCH sooner than 6 weeks), therefore causing the very first check we wrote to our new account to bounce.  Both banks charged us separate fees for "insufficient funds."


6) We've since resorted to paying the American foreign ATM fee for taking the maximum allowable amount out of the ATM at HSBC and depositing the cash into the bank after standing in two lines... every day for two weeks.


7) HSBC, our new bank, still has not sent us debit cards.  We cannot pay any bills from this account because we do not have checks either.  We cannot apply for any local credit cards until this is done.


8) Our credit cards from the States are charging us an international conversion fee every time we use them to buy groceries or make any purchase.


9) Calling these local places (banks, phone companies, etc.) from home has proven impossible.  Our phone company, BT, was supposed to start service (land line and internet) on October 4.  We never got it.  We have dial tone but cannot call any numbers out.  We tried to call to figure out what was wrong, but my mobile phone call got sent to India for customer service, and the Indian taking my call put me on hold until my cell phone service got cut off for lack of sufficient funds - 25p a minute, remember?


10) The Indian fellow tried to call me back, but he called the neighbor/landlord instead.  The Mrs. picked up, but she had no idea what he was talking about and hung up.


11) Shortly thereafter, our neighbors/landlords could not receive any calls.  The couldn't get any internet.  It seems that BT had overtaken their Sky phone/internet service, and several wires were crossed.


12) We just got a bill in the mail from BT charging us for service from 17 September, which is ridiculous because we still don't have service.  


13) We are UNHAPPY campers.


And I haven't even gotten into registering for the National Health Service, getting a National Insurance Number (like a SSN, you have to have one in order to get a job), registering for child protection classes, and getting a CRB check (similar to a criminal background check). 


My internal American self is screaming, "Who is responsible for this craziness?  Where's the apology?  Where's the accountability?  Where's the honesty?  Where's the customer service?  Where's the justice?"


If these stone walls weren't really, really hard and twice as old as America, Nathan would punch a hole in one.


God save us from more red tape!


P.S.  We just got back from registering with the doctor's office here.  Other than the facts that the nurse didn't use gloves when testing our urine samples and the doctor we saw looked about TWENTY, it was just lovely.  No complaints.