The Most Boring Day of My Life

Last Friday Nathan wanted to go golfing, and he wanted to take me with him. I said yes because I love him. No other reason. He said we could take the bus because he loves me. The golf course is about five miles away. He's cheap, but he understands my fragile state of mind when it comes to exercise.

We took the bus to Langley Moor and started walking. And walking. And walking. Finally, I said, "Do you know where you're going? We've been walking a long time, and I'm pretty sure there should have been a closer bus stop to the golf course than this."

"Oh yeah. It's right around the corner," he kept saying. 

It looked like he had taken me to some industrial warehouse park. There were train tracks and semis and lots of heavy equipment. And fields.  And horses. And trash. 

"Did you bring me back here to kill me? Because if you did, this would be a perfect place. There are lots of mounds of trash to hide my body in."

"Yes," he said. "I've been waiting for this moment for five and half years."

It started raining. I wanted to cry. Because of the rain, not because I really thought he'd brought me out there to kill me. I just needed to clarify.

The horses were a welcome break from all the heavy machinery. I think they are being raised for meat, because they looked a lot like our former neeeeiiiighbors, who are no more.

Thumbs up for golf! If we ever get there.

Nathan giving them their last rites. Just kidding.

Sorry buddy.

See? Trash. And mud. Gross.

We finally made it to the golf course. It was still sprinkling, and it was kind of muddy, but it wasn't so bad. I thought I'd just follow Nathan around the course and keep him company and say things like, "It's all in the hips," but it was really crowded that morning. Nathan was getting antsy and didn't want to wait to tee off behind two larger groups. He decided to ask a group of three Geordies if he could join them, which was cool, but I then felt like I would be a fifth wheel. 

He and I thought it would be best if I stayed in the club house for the first nine holes. I was already cold, I didn't want to be the tag-along girl, and I had my Bible and thought I could at least read and warm up for a bit. I started a 90 day Bible reading challenge last week, so I definitely could have used the time. I made it indoors, sat down, fished out my mini Bible from my bag, and opened up my Bible reading plan to see where I needed to pick up again.

Leviticus. 

Fantastic. At least I couldn't escape or be distracted.

I know that all Scripture is holy and inspired, but I got bored after a while. And really thankful for Jesus so we didn't have to worry about the nitty gritty of following the Old Testament law. Perhaps that was the point.

I read all of Leviticus, and then I texted Nathan to see how he was doing. I was hoping he'd say he was sucking it up on the course in front of his new friends and that he wanted to go home. He said he was playing the best game of his life. Sweet! 

He told me that he estimated that he could play 18 holes in two and a half hours. It had already been an hour and 45 minutes, but he wasn't done with the front nine. That meant several more hours of me hanging out in the dining room. I was hungry, and I asked if I could get some lunch since he had our PB&Js in his golf bag. He said, "Go for it."

I ordered a cheeseburger and fries from the bar and made the mistake of putting English mustard on the burger. My nose almost fell off it was so hot. But now my sinuses are so clear that I can smell all the way to the Irish Sea.

Some older guys came back from their golf game and had some beer and turned on the TV. Awesome. I thought. Maybe I can pass the time watching some SuperNanny! No such luck. The men wanted cricket, probably the one televised game I have the least understanding about. It's long. It's boring. I didn't get it.

Leviticus and cricket on a rainy Friday at a golf course. The most boring day of my life.

Nathan called me on hole 16, which was right in front of the club house. I decided to join them for the last few holes. Unfortunately, Nathan's game tanked right after he told me he was playing the best game of his life.

"Go to your home, ball. Are you too good for your home?"

Trying to muster a smile.

At least he looks good, right?

Grumpy Nathan with his sweet glove in front of the double wide on a layer of bricks, also known as the club house where I spent the most boring day of my life.

This was a pretty shot. The sun decided to come out to play when we decided to go home.

Just an interesting observation. This well was in front of the clubhouse and had a sign on it that reads, "Fire assembly point." Maybe if the clubhouse is on fire, golfers can put it out with water drawn from the well.

The whole day reminded me of this Etrade commercial. I love calling Nathan "Shankapotomous."